Are you in need of a Dating Detox™?

If so, so you're not alone.

PARSHIP's latest nationwide singles survey has revealed there are 15 million singles living in UK of which over half are looking for a serious long-term relationship. However 5.6 million single people in the UK haven't been on a date in the last six months, and they haven't had a relationship in more than a year.

So what's stopping millions of singles from finding the relationship they deserve?

Well, according to PARSHIP's dating expert, psychiatrist Dr Victoria Lukats, singles are suffering from a build-up of dating toxins. Forget the usual excuses - hectic lifestyle, lack of time and a dearth of suitable people - it's often more about what's going on in your head.

Through an extensive survey of more than 5,000 singles, PARSHIP has identified the top five dating toxins:

Shyness
"I just don't have the courage to ask women out on a date, if she turns me down I'd be so embarrassed ... Maybe I just won't bother." Shyness can have a crippling effect on the sufferer. Skydiving is more appealing than flirting.
Fussiness
"Joe just doesn't tick all of my boxes, and I'd never date a man who wears brown shoes." Fussy people often have unrealistic expectations of their dating prospects. They really believe they should be with someone who has the looks of Brad Pitt and the brain of Einstein. They create an ideal that only exists in their mind.
Low self-esteem
"Why would anyone want to date me, all my relationships end in disaster anyway." Low self esteem makes people build great big brick walls in their dating path. They often think that no-one would want to date them and that they are unattractive. Botox, beauty treatments or weight loss will do little change their perception of themselves.
Lack of opportunity
"I'm so busy with my life when am I ever going to find the time to go on a date?" Realistically, if people truly don't have the time to go on a single date then they don't have the time for a relationship either. If you're serious about finding a relationship then Dating Detox can help with goal-setting and prioritising.
Desperation
"Why am I still single when all my friends are married with kids, I just want to get married and settle down." Being preoccupied with these thoughts can stop people showing that they have a fun side when they're dating and it can be off-putting to potential partners.

If this sounds like you, don't worry, Dating Detox really could be perfect for you. Whether you're interested in joining the Dating Detox programme, or if you'd like to take the first step to finding someone really right for you, it's time to take the PARSHIP test.

To find out more about Dating Detox, read on ...

What is Dating Detox and who created it?
What is a dating toxin?
How does Dating Detox Work?
What is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)?
How long does the Dating Detox programme take?
Contact us
Dating facts
About Dr Victoria Lukats
Take the PARSHIP test

What is Dating Detox and who created it?
Drawing on her background as a psychiatrist and her experience in cognitive behavioural therapy, Dr Victoria Lukats has developed a unique treatmentapproach, Dating Detox™ which aims to help singles boost their chances of finding love. and overcome their problems with prospective partners. The treatment has been designed to help the individual take a journey of self-discovery, so that at the end they are able to form satisfying and lasting relationships and rid themselves of these toxic dating barriers.

Put simply, Dating Detox is an approach aimed at single people who are looking for a serious relationship and it incorporates support, advice and some techniques of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

What is a dating toxin?
Dating toxins are the top 5 reasons that people give as to why they're single when what they're actually looking for is a serious long-term relationship. These include lack of self esteem, shyness, lack of opportunity, fussiness and desperation.

How does Dating Detox Work?
The first step is a structured, in-depth interview with a trained professional to identify the main issues that have been holding you back from finding a partner. Part of this process is encouraging you to imagine how every aspect of your life would be over the next five years. A personalised plan can then be drawn up so that you can tackle problem areas and work towards your goals.

For example, for shyness the approach is in some ways similar to the way a therapist might treat a phobia. In addition to support and advice, the specific CBT technique used is called "exposure and response prevention". This means putting yourself in a situation than might make you slightly anxious and instead of doing what you'd normally do - maybe look at the floor and go home, you try to do things differently.

When working towards goals, the trick is to break the goal down into manageable tasks, starting with something easy like saying good morning to colleagues and gradually moving on to harder exercises. So, for instance, the next step could be asking for directions in the street, followed by making eye contact on the escalators, chatting to someone in the supermarket and perhaps ultimately flirting on a night out and even asking someone on a date.

Obviously, everyone's plan is different as it's personalised to your problem areas. There's support, advice and encouragement available along the way.

What is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)?
The Dating Detox programme draws on CBT techniques. CBT has an established evidence base, it is time-limited (meaning it doesn't go on indefinitely) and it is goal-focused (the focus is on working towards defined and measurable goals); it lends itself to issues such as low self-esteem, lack of confidence, shyness, social anxiety and priority-setting.

How long does the Dating Detox programme take?
The treatment takes between six and nine weeks to complete and consists of around ten one-hour sessions, interspersed with tasks and homework. The number of sessions required depends on the individual but this can be agreed during the first session. Once the initial programme is completed, the individual can then start dating with the help of PARSHIP.

Contact us
For more information please email Penny Conway on datingdetox@parship.co.uk.

Dating facts
Over half (52%) of single people want to be in a committed relationship; two thirds (31%) expect to be married in the next five years, and a further 25% want to have children.

Every year single Britons spend £14.8 billion in the search for love, and the total expenditure amounts to £38,000 over their lifetime - more than the cost of a sports car. They spend billions on looking good, dating services and flash restaurants in a bid to become more attractive to the opposite sex. Yet, with all that said, 40% of single men and women haven't been on a date in more than a year, and for those that have, only one in seven first dates will lead to a follow-up. In fact, there are more singles in Britain today than every before - 13 million in all.

Dr Victoria Lukats, MBBS MRCPsych MSc is a psychiatrist, agony aunt and dating and relationship expert

Dr Victoria Lukats MBBS MRCPsych MSc
PARSHIP's dating and relationship expert

As well as working as a relationship and dating expert for PARSHIP, Dr Victoria Lukats is a specialist registrar in psychiatry and works in the NHS. She graduated with a medicine degree from King's College London in 1998, is a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists and has a Master's Degree in Mental Health from King's College London.

In addition, she writes an agony aunt column on relationships and dating for a national newspaper and is regularly asked to comment and provide advice on large range of relationship topics in the media: celebrities, dating, break-ups, sex, to name but a few. Her expertise in relationships often draws on her medical background and therefore combines both science and psychology to provide individuals with clarity and greater understanding.